Things Abbie says

I once wrote a post about how the learning processes of young minds amaze me. And, once more, I got surprised by the things Abbie picks up along the way -- things I never even dreamed of teaching her, but that she nevertheless grasps from her daily experiences.

A few days ago, while I was getting Abbie ready to go out, she went nuts. She started calling out her typically loud “dish!” (this) pointing at something on the table. She didn’t have any toys up there. I wasn’t particularly interested in figuring out what’s going on in her little curly head, I was in rush and trying to get her shoes on. But she wasn’t letting up, and finally I realized that she wanted my key holder, with my house keys and my car beeper.

"Dish, peas? Dish, peas?” (this please)

I offered them to her, “Abbie, Is this what you want?”

Abbie stretched her hands and paid me back for giving her the coveted keys with the biggest grin and happy eyes.

While I put my coat on, I watched Abigail silently inspecting the keys. Finally, clicking the buttons of the car beeper, she looked up at me and said:

"Cah (car). Kees (keys). Beep-beep!!!!!"

Abbie the Girl Scout

As we all know, children at Abbie’s age are sponges for what they hear. Especially for things we tell them directly.

Lately, Abbie has picked up on the word “Hot”, mainly from when we are feeding her and we caution her something is hot. Now when she experiences something remotely warm, she’ll repeat back, “Hot! Hot!” letting us know what she’s thinking.

And since we’re the cautious, ever-protective parents of hers, the word “careful” has also entered her vocabulary.

So today, Abbie and I went out to Clifton park, a nearby park with fun things for Abbie to run around and play on.  One of these things is a large wooden train which Abbie likes to climb on and sit in.  The top of the train has a black top which, when sitting in the sun as it does, collects heat and is warm to the touch. While sitting in the train, Abbie reached out and tapped the outside of the train. She quickly pulled her hand back in and said, “Hot. Hot. Cah-fol! (Careful).”

I asked her, “is that hot? Be careful touching it.” She responded, “Cah-fol! Hot”

A little while later we had migrated to the swings. While Abbie swung back and forth, another little boy and his father came to the park to play. Abbie watched the two of them as they walked toward the train. As the boy began to climb onto the train, she yelled out to him, “Cah-fol! Cah-fol! Hot! Hot!” At first, I didn’t know what she was talking about, but after she began to point to the little boy on the train, I understood her intent.

I was so proud of her and her concern for someone else. Here is the video of the event which I managed to capture once I realized what was going on.

Potty-Time

I know it sounds cliché, but having a child really does change your outlook on life. It’s wonderful how the smallest things can mean so much. Reaching the top of a mole-hill is really reaching the top of a mountain, especially for an 18 month old.

One of the next big milestones for Abbie will be potty training. Now usually, doctors estimate that children are ready for toilet training at around 24-30 months. That is about the time that children are both mentally and physically capable of determining when they need to go, and have the muscles to hold on until they can go.

But Abbie is a true go-getter. She doesn’t know the meaning of the word “can’t”. So she loves to push the envelope of her abilities.

Knowing this milestone is approaching, we decided to get Abbie a little training toilet. It sits on the floor and has a cute little padded pink seat for her. We put it in the bathroom next to the real toilet and explained to her that it was her potty – for when she needed to pee-pee or poo-poo.

Knowing that it was hers, she loved it right away. She was proud of her little potty, even though she wasn’t sure what it was for – other than for a comfortable sit.

I somehow got into the habit of asking her, “Do you have to go potty?” every time she’d get ready for her bath at night. It didn’t take long before she actually got fussy with anticipation while she got undressed, yelling, “Powwy! Powwy!” She'd run over to it, lift the lid, and position herself squarely on it. There she’d sit, swinging her legs with a big proud grin on her face. She looked so natural, I later decided to give her a little book to read while she sat on it.

Now I didn’t logically expect anything to happen while she sat there. I know she’s still too young to “go” on command. But there was a tiny part of me hoping to see a little golden treasure in the bottom of the potty when she got up. Each time she stood up, she and I would peek in the bottom but see nothing but clean plastic (I’m not sure what she expected to find). But, that’d be OK and I’d praise her using her potty.

Tonight after her bath, as usual, she sat on my lap while I dried her off. She saw her little potty and yelled, “POWWY! POWWY!” She was a little more anxious about it than normal. When she was dry, she hopped down and scooted herself onto the seat. After a few seconds, or so, I could have sworn I’d heard something going on in there. When she finally stood up, we both peered into the little bowl. There, in the bottom was a little pool of piddle. I couldn’t have been more proud!

“YAY!” I said. “Abbie went pee-pee in the potty!” I squeezed her, kissed her on the head and pointed at the bowl. “Abbie went pee-pee in the potty! YAY!” Abbie got a big grin on her face and I think she was even surprised herself to see something there. Then she turned and ran into her bedroom to do a little dance.

It may have been a fluke. Or she may really have had to go. Time will tell. But she loves it when she knows she did something good. She may not understand it, or the gravity of the situation. But she is definitely eager to find the next taller hill and get to the top before you know it.

Puppy Love

"Wee-yam!!!!", "AbbieAbbieAbbie!!!!"

Before now I never once thought I would soon be witnessing a love life for *any* kid of mine, let alone one still wearing diapers.

That was before William and Abigail fell in puppy love...

Believe me, though William's mom is a good friend and a central staple of our social circle, this was in no way an arranged relationship. It sprang naturally, budding in the tender consciousness of two toddlers. By the time Abigail even knew the names of anyone except her own and Shelby's, before she really knew many words at all, she would ask for 'Wee-yam', complete with an impressionistic accent on the 'yam'. 'Wee-yam' constitutes a high percentage of her babyish utterances.

It's been since before Christmas that Abbie kisses William's picture with the utmost delight. I'm told he does the same. It's been months that Abigail picks up the phone, starts babbling in it and fitting "Wee-yam" here and there in her imaginary conversation.

It's sweet in all its innocence. In fact, though they are both cheery kids, the sunshine gets kicked up way high when they get into one of their fits of calling each other's names, when they run after each other, hold hands while jumping on the couch, or laugh together while one leaps and the other dances at Mainly Music. When I strap Abbie in her car seat and tell her "You are going to see William", her lovely face literally gets illuminated by the happiest of expressions. "Wee-yam!!!!", she chirps.

My daughter already gave her first love kiss away, you guessed it -- planted it on William's soft cheek at Wegman's... She already got hugged by her first little special friend. My heart melted, and I so wish I could have taken a picture of those unique moments... But like most special things, they just sneaked up on us. Oh, sure, there's been the occasional lovers fight, when one of the baby kissers gets confused and plants a bite instead... But that's nothing compared to the radiant joy of being together! They enjoy the company of their other friends, sure, but everyone knows they share a special rapport.

As I write this, I can't help but wonder: what does it means for a toddler to "love" another toddler? Heck if I know. I mean, for all their calling each other and laughing together, they're still at the parallel play stage: they want to play with the same exact thing at the same exact time (monkey see monkey do still applies), but aren't ready to share with one another. It makes it for an interesting love conundrum. Love can be cruel and we don't use rose-colored glasses, here.

All logical assessments aside, when they part, or see each other again after a three-day hiatus, I can only describe their plaintive or effervescent "Wee-yam!!!" , "AbbieAbbieAbbie!" as anything but a distinct recognition reserved for an extraordinary friend, not just any buddy.

(to my little love)

I had an itty bitty heartbeat inside me, and now I don't. Abbie's little sibling (I always felt he was a boy, though we'll never really know) didn't make it. At only 7 weeks, he's gone. I think it sounds so strange, to say "I lost my baby". Though I feel the loss, the emptiness, the void, the blackness of it all, I can't bear to say "I lost my baby". I didn't lose him... he's gone. My baby is gone.

Not long ago I saw his beating heart in the monitor, and I heard it. It was fast, strong and undaunted, though they never gave it much of a probability of life. It sounded as though it was saying "Oh yeah? I'll show you". And I thought "Ah! He'll show them, he will!", while carrying a doubt in my heart. When I went to get the sonogram today, after bleeding, I just couldn't stop crying even before they told me that there was no heartbeat. I knew they were looking, and looking, looking for that rhythmic sound as if it were hidden somewhere in the never ending world of my short-lived pregnancy. But with every second that went by, I felt as if I were in the middle of a big, empty field when it snows: chillingly quiet... colorless... aseptic. I knew there was no life, because a few days ago my own heartbeat slowed down. And I knew.

Abbie doesn't understand why her 'mammy' cries so much today. So I want you to know, when you'll be able to understand: today I had to say goodbye to my other itty bitty one, and it's hard, it's hard. I had a dream I loved, a glimpse, and it's gone. And I thank God forever more for you.

Imitation... sometimes the silliest form of flattery

Abbie's been in that stage for a while where she imitates everything she hears. It's great because it really gives you an insight into what she's thinking - about her world and how she understands it. Children are so unique in how they process life around them.

Just an example from my own life: when I was 5 or 6, I remember riding in the back of our huge 1970 Chevrolet Impala. I studied how my mom was driving on the freeway - navigating back and forth from lane to lane. I finally had to break down and admit to her that I would never learn to drive because I could never remember all of those places to change lanes!

Anyway, Abbie has been giving us lots of joy and funny moments like this as she absorbs and responds to what's happening around her. The other day I was walking her and Shelby outside our home. A man and his dog came around the corner about 40 feet in front of us. Now usually I can spot these potential trouble incidents with Shelby before she notices. When Shelby sees people or another dog, she barks and barks and tries to charge at the offending human or animal. She doesn't want to attack, just... well, who the heck knows WHAT she's thinking? But if I can spot these things in time, I can steer her in another direction in order to avoid the confrontation.

But this time, as is sometimes the case, the confrontation was unavoidable. Shelby saw the man and the dog and began to bark and lunge at the "intruders." Seeing Shelby do this, Abbie decided she needed to take action as well and follow suit. So she stopped in her tracks, clenched her fits and began to yell, "Roof roof roof!" at the man and his dog in her tiny little voice.

I couldn't help but laugh. I can only image what the man must have been thinking - let alone the dog!

When all is said and done at the end of a long day with Abbie, it's the moments like this - and there are many - that make it worthwhile.